


My favorite flavor of bubble gum tastes like self-loathing

by Nachsie



Series: I'm NOT your boyfriend! [9]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alpha Castiel, Alpha/Omega, Alternate Universe - High School, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Cheerleader Dean, Falling In Love, Football Player Castiel, M/M, Nerdy Castiel, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Omega Dean, Omega Dean Winchester, One Shot, One Shot Collection, Popular Dean, Self Confidence Issues, body issues, teenage sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-13
Updated: 2016-02-13
Packaged: 2018-05-20 03:37:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5990457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nachsie/pseuds/Nachsie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean's been having a hard time lately...Don't get him wrong, he's been the happiest he's ever been but..He's been finding himself lonely. Castiel's been a lot more busy lately, which is fine. Dean's pretty sure it's his whole silent angst over something unrelated to Castiel that's causing him to be down in the dumps. Just...seeing Castiel less isn't helping. When Castiel surprises him on their day off school, Dean's days about to get a whole lot better.</p><p> </p><p>Relationship level: a SOLID two.</p><p> </p><p>(AN//: Make sure you read the FIRST eight, or you will be so terribly lost.))</p>
            </blockquote>





	My favorite flavor of bubble gum tastes like self-loathing

**Author's Note:**

>   
>  Middle pic source finally found: http://powerfulweak.tumblr.com/post/138414703465/finally-uploading-the-better-quality-version-of-my

Dean sighed as he stared into the mirror, glancing at his half naked body he sighed as he ran his fingers down his fading abs till the fading abs started down to the fat dean was starting to form. He turned sideways, yeah, he definitely was gaining weight. Dean frowned as he sighed grabbing for his bag of chips. Maybe he should do more crunches? 

Dean plopped into his bed, as he chewed on the chips. He wasn’t exercising as much as he use to be...Normally he used it as an excuse to lose himself, to be alone. With Castiel and him...pretty okay, he felt lonely normally...so he had no reason to run except for cheer. 

He paused his chewing when he sat up, glancing over the cheer trophies passed out to the cheerleaders. He gave them a half smile, before his eyes fell onto the picture of Young Dean and Castiel after a play, Dean holding Castiel close as Castiel tried to get away. Then the pictures next to it of Dean and Castiel, from Castiel’s first date.

Dean sighed moving to lay down again, when his phone vibrated, he collected his phone wiping his hands on his pants but the screen still smudged when he went to unlock his phone. Containing a picture of Castiel wearing his complete football gear, which Dean had to fight for him to pose on the lock screen. 

Then a picture of Castiel and Dean that was taken by Benny during lunch was on the home. It was just Castiel and Dean talking but Dean had his legs half over Castiel’s and Castiel was rubbing his hand up and down Dean’s leg. Castiel was deep in conversation with Balthazar, but it was obvious he was doing it without thinking. The affection so natural, Dean cropped Balthazar out to just show him and Castiel. 

Dean didn’t have long to admire the photo when the text popped up, Dean smiled softly as he started to read the message. 

_Castiel: You up?_

_Dean: Currently._

_Castiel: Cool, I’m downstairs. I’m coming up._

Dean choked on chips, as Dean heard Castiel climbing up the stairs, Dean frantically grabbing for a shirt when Castiel pushed the door open. Dean slid it down quickly gave a nervous smile, as Castiel smiled back, eyeing him before closing the door.

“You know I have seen you naked before.” Castiel stated, as Dean gave a small smile. How could he tell Castiel the only reason he has was because it was darker than all hell. Especially now, when he was getting fatter and Castiel had lost almost all his baby fat over the summer and now in their second month of school. Castiel...was looking...good. Dean himself had a hard time keeping his hands off. Castiel...always looked good to him, but...Castiel feeling confident in his own skin was the reason? Yeah, that was attractive. 

“I-I just didn’t want to give you any ideas.” Dean lied as Castiel chuckled setting down the baby carrier, Dean crossed his arms taking notice in it for the first time. “What’s that doing here?”

“It’s my turn.” Castiel sighed, taking off his football jacket. Tossing it over Dean’s chair, Dean stared down at the ugly baby. Dean swore that thing was watching him. 

“It’s creepy.” Dean stated, as Castiel moved to Dean who stood on his knees on the bed. Pressing kisses to his boyfriend’s lips, Dean had to admit, Castiel was start getting good at this boyfriend thing. 

“I know…” Castiel mumbled, as Dean found himself submitting as he pressed back into the kiss. Castiel’s meeting Dean’s waist, Dean could feel the calloused fingers sliding against the bare skin that happened when Dean wrapped his arms around Castiel’s neck. Dean wasn’t sure when Dean was lowered back onto the bed, but Castiel’s body over him was so perfect. The make out session wasn’t easy and innocent as it started but Something was off. Dean couldn’t put his finger on it. 

Dean pulled back, panting up at Castiel who panted back, before smiling down at him. His fingers sliding under his shirt teasing his sides, but Dean didn’t mind the touching. His thoughts lost in what he realized was wrong.

“You’re...not wearing your glasses?” Dean asked, as Castiel blinked before smiling, pulling back to sit. 

“Ye-Yeah.” Castiel ran fingers through his hair. “Michael and Lucifer suggested it. Said it would help me see better in the games, so I got my dad to get me a pair.” Dean nodded slowly, he has...been talking about those two a lot lately. Not that Dean ever had a problem with them, it was just...they weren’t really the guys with the best morals. “...Do you not like them?” 

“No...I mean...It’s different...just...not...familiar.” Dean choked out, as Castiel stared at him expressionless. No. He didn’t. He didn’t look like his cute little cas. He was starting to look like...a alpha. Castiel was built. His body becoming very muscular, he was stronger. Becoming more and more each day. Except for Castiel’s height, Castiel was becoming a regular run of the mill alpha. Though still shy, he was becoming bolder, getting more popular… Dean...wasn’t use to it. 

“...You don’t like them.” Castiel said, as Dean tried to damage control noticing Castiel’s reaction. Dean wrapped his arms around Castiel’s neck, pressing kisses to Castiel’s neck.

“You know I love the nerdy look, baby.” Dean mewed as Castiel moved his head to give Castiel more access. “You just look different. It’s like getting braces off. If you love it. I love it.” 

“...That seems like a cop out.” Castiel teased lightening up as he held Dean’s waist. “You’re trying to get out of answering me.”

“It is and you love me.” Dean stated, as he pressed his lips against Castiel’s repeatedly. “...hey...um...Why don’t you spend the night tonight?” 

“I didn’t bring any clothes.” Castiel whispered, as Dean smiled into the kiss. 

“Who said you’ll need clothes?” Dean whispered back, as Castiel smirked into it, pulling Dean closer kissing him more heatedly. 

“You are so bad...you keep tempting me to break the rules. We are only on one point five.” Castiel reminded him, as Dean playfully shoved him down. 

“We haven’t since the first day of school. So I’ve been good.” Dean laughed.

“Your mom’s going to find out if we keep having these every two days.” Castiel kissed him again. 

“...I think my mom already knows.” Dean mumbled, Castiel tensed, breaking the kiss. 

“W-What?” Castiel went deep red. 

Yeah...awkward.

“Haven’t you noticed?” Dean whispered. “You haven’t gone through your rut?” Dean mumbled, as Castiel went deep red...er… Castiel and Dean have been...having sex...though they weren’t trying for a baby, they have been fitting their quota with condom knotting sex. Which has put their heats to rest, since it tricks their bodies. It happens with couples who were more active. Sure sometimes the sex isn’t enough and still they go into heats, but it’s a lot more random and sporadic. 

“I-I…” Castiel whispered, as Dean gave a soft smile. Pressing his head against Castiel’s forehead. 

“We’re going to be eighteen soon.” Dean breathed. “It’s...not abnormal.” Dean breathed as Castiel nodded nervously. God, Castiel was so cute. Looking like a normal alpha, except for his height was a lot to take in, but the nervous shy man under him looking so innocent. That would forever be Cas.

“It’s...just…” Castiel covered his face. “...How can I look your mom in the eye…?” Dean giggled as he looked down at Castiel’s shyness before kissing his fingers away before pinning them besides his head.

“Tell me you love me?” Dean whispered as Castiel looked up at him. 

“I better love you, I totally can’t look your mom in the eye now.” Castiel chucked as Dean playfully slapped him, Dean moving to kiss him again when the baby cry from the carrier. Dean lifted up in annoyance, glancing over the creepy baby Dean was sure moved. Dean looked annoyed as Castiel chuckled to himself.

“You get use to him.” Castiel stated, as Dean climbed off him walking over to the creepy baby. Dean picked him up by his foot, as the baby continued to cry. Castiel came up behind him, wrapping his arms around Dean’s waist, as Dean eyed the baby. “Wyatt, meet Daddy dean.” Castiel kissed Dean’s neck, as Dean wiggled at his hands. 

“Yeah, no. Pass.” Dean stated, as he paused sniffing the baby. “Ugh, it smells like rotten milk.” Dean frowned, as he held it away from him. “That’s fucking disgusting.” 

“Leave my baby alone!” Castiel playfully chuckled as Dean eyed the baby, watching Castiel take a seat on the end of his bed. Dean sighed, moving to the back of the baby, he pulled out the sound maker, which Castiel choked out. 

“Just rock that for a moment.” Dean eyed the sensor. “It won’t notice it’s not in the baby.”

“D-Dean!” Castiel choked out.

“Just trust me.” Dean tossed the sound machine to Castiel, who caught it. Watching Dean walk out of the room with it, Dean tugged at his briefs as he walked down the stairs towards the washing machine. Tossing laundry detergent in he turned it on, tossing the baby inside. 

Dean walked into the garage, digging through some of his old toy box. He paused when he came across a baby doll. Old and worn, he eyed the eyes before closing the toy box, walking back inside. Not surprised to see Castiel standing leaning against the door, watching him, but didn’t fight him on what he was doing. Rocking the sensor, that still cried. 

Dean pressed his lips to Castiel’s cheek, before walking into the kitchen. Dean dug through the kitchen drawer, pulling out a knife. He dug into the eye sockets of one of the baby dolls, cutting around it till the eye popped out. Dean placed the eye on the counter before pulling the baby dolls clothes off. A bright white dress, which despite the aged doll was pretty white. The lace was beautiful still. Dean always made sure to keep his baby dolls in good condition, maybe today it paid off.

Dean chucked the now eyeless doll into the trash, before he went to the washing machine, pulling out the baby which was soaked with laundry soap. Dean shook it off, before sniffing it. Smelled like tide now. Which Dean didn’t see as a bad thing. Dean let the washing machine continue empty before walking to get a towel. Drying the baby doll, he walked over to the kitchen again. Seeing Castiel sitting on the table, no longer holding the sensor, chewing on an apple. Dean gave him a soft kiss out of necessity like he needed a reason. 

Dean grabbed glue from his cheer supplies, before walking back over. He took his time and care, glueing the blue eye into the socket. Dean was always good at arts and crafts, since being a cheerleader made it a skill. Dean was always making little signs or crafts to sell for fundraising. Many of his skill were all thanks to cheerleading which made Dean feel a little better on his low days, that he had skills. 

When the eye was in, Dean ushered for Castiel to follow as Dean slid the baby out of his old rotting clothes, into the baby white dress the girl doll once had. Tossing them into the trash when he walked back upstairs. Dean pushed his door open, before he grabbed his hair brush pulling it through the baby boys hair. Brushing out the tangles as Dean sat on the bed, Castiel watching him lovingly, which Dean noticed when he glanced up every so often. 

When the hair was untangled, which actually was quite nice when clean. It no longer smelled, was long and even had curls. Dean pulled it up into a tight man bun, keeping it secure on his head. 

“Can you hand me that rubber band?” Dean asked, as Castiel nodded, getting off the bed to hand him it. “And that permanent marker?” Castiel gave them both to him, as Dean tied up the baby’s hair, making sure the baby’s hair was tight and would hold. Before Dean pulled off the permanent marker, popping off the lid he started to color on the baby’s nose. Covering the burnt mark on the baby with a freckle, or mole, whatever one. Dean added a few more, before closing the lid. He grabbed the sound box before putting it into the baby. Glancing over the very cute baby doll in Dean’s opinion. Dean turned it to show Castiel.

“Well?” Dean asked as Castiel stared over the brown and blue eyed baby, saying nothing. “If he starts smelling again, just spray him with your body spray for good measure. Though the tide should have-” 

Castiel leaned in pressing his lips to Dean’s lips. Dean moaned, pressing back as Castiel pushed him onto the bed. 

“I love you, you are so...fucking amazing.” Castiel stated, as Dean smiled up at him. Castiel pressing his lips over and over on Dean’s as Dean laughed. “Seriously Dean. Fuck. He looks sixty times better. You are a miracle worker.” 

“I try.” Dean blushed as Castiel pulled back taking out his phone. He placed the baby on the bed taking a picture. Dean sat up laughing as he watched Castiel trying to take a good picture. “What on earth?”

“Ambriel is going to FLIP.” Castiel laughed. “We were just talking about trying to fix him up.” Dean’s smile faded. More like plummeted. Castiel hadn’t noticed however, as he typed in words into the text box along with the picture. 

So...Castiel had Ambriel’s number?

“So...You have Ambriel’s number?” Dean gave an awkward laugh, trying to hide his obvious unhappiness. 

“Yeah, we have to be able to get a hold of her.” Castiel stated not really paying much attention to Dean as Castiel got a text back. “She said it’s super cute, and said to thank you for helping our baby.” 

Our? 

She texted him again. Dean knew he was being stupid, he knew he was being over sensitive over this. Castiel smiled into his phone before texting back, before he closed his phone setting it on the counter, giving Dean a loving smile. 

“I really appreciate this.” Castiel smiled before leaning in and kissing him.

“W...What did she text you afterwards?” Dean asked as Castiel blinked. 

“Oh, she said she had to go, some cheer outing or something at the roller ring.” Castiel waved it off as Dean looked away. 

A cheer outing? 

He was normally...invited to those…

Castiel noticed the face, and quickly back tracked. 

“M-Maybe she mistyped.” Castiel flinched noticing the problem. 

“Maybe she’s just a bitch.” Dean snapped. 

“Dean-” Castiel spoke again.

“...I’m going to take a shower.” Dean sighed, as Castiel continued to flinch. 

“W-Want company? M-Maybe Wyatt could-” Castiel called not sure what to say, trying to find a way to make it up to Dean for not censoring his mouth, but the door shut in his face. Dean didn’t bother locking the door as he turned on the shower, his eyes filling with tears, as he sighed with frustration when he put on loud phone music. 

Dean took a deep breath, as he listened to the sound of his music trying to calm down. He fucking hated that tramp. He hated her. He hated how she was making Castiel smile. He hated it. She was so perfect. So thin. So cute. So cutely nerdy. Castiel smiled as he wrote to her. Smiled like that to _her_. His logic knew Castiel hadn’t meant to do that. To made Dean feel this way. Dean felt sick to his stomach as he pulled off his shirt to shower, pausing when he stared at himself in the mirror. Staring at his starting to fatten stomach, as Dean hated himself for eyeing the toilet. Instantly regretting the chips earlier. Dean swallowed as he hesitantly looked away from the toilet, climbing into the shower. Dean loved the feeling of the water. Just losing himself to it.  
_____________________________________________________

 

 

 

 

 

 

When Dean came out from the shower, he hated that he didn’t bring in clothes and he wasn’t surprised to see Castiel waiting for him like a puppy. The baby no longer on the bed, but backwards in the carrier. Tossed there without much more care. Dean didn’t say anything to him, walking over to his closet. Pulling it open, he wasn’t surprised to see Castiel open his mouth to talk in the mirror of the closet. Dean grabbing his clothes pretending not to notice. 

“I talked to Ambriel.” Castiel spoke. “She said that it was only for the freshmen girls, and because she was the head cheerleader and assistant coach to the freshmen girls she was there.” 

“I honestly don’t care.” Dean breathed as Castiel shut up, Castiel sighed looking away. It going quite as Dean started to change, Dean paused finishing putting on his shirt when he heard Castiel walk up to him. 

“I love you.” Castiel stated wrapping his arms around him.

“...I know.” Dean sighed calming his anger.

“...Want to go out to eat?” Castiel whispered touching Dean’s waist as Dean leaned into him.

“Sure.” Dean whispered as Castiel kissed his neck. 

“And I’m paying.” Castiel spoke, as Dean smiled to himself as Dean turned around pressing a kiss to Castiel’s lips. “Just clarifying.” Castiel laughed. “Last time you didn’t get the memo.”

“Last time, you didn’t send a memo.” Dean breathed as Castiel smiled, pressing his lips to Dean before he pulled back. 

“Can I bring my beautiful baby?” Castiel asked, eyeing the baby doll playfully.

“Not if you want to get laid tonight.” Dean laughed, as Castiel hummed.

“You love a man with kids.” Castiel winked.

“Maybe the father of my kids.” Dean teased back as Castiel shook his head blushing softly as Dean walked to grab his jacket. 

“Maybe one day.” Castiel looked away scratching his cheeks before Dean blushed and covered his hands with his jacket before grabbing Castiel’s hand. 

“So...Where are you taking me?” Dean hummed as Castiel smiled. 

“It’s a surprise.” Castiel laughed, as Castiel squeezed his hands under the jacket before walking away with him.  
________________________________________________

 

 

 

 

 

Dean smoked as they walked, Castiel’s arm wrapped around his waist hidden by the coat Dean was wearing. Dean loved feeling Castiel’s hand cupping his back, it made Dean feel so much more relaxed which was weird to Dean, he didn’t know why it did. Castiel walking up to the food truck he ordered Dean backed away to wait, blowing smoke not wanting to bother the people eating. He leaned up against a wall, pausing when loud laughing caught his attention. Dean paused his gaze when they landed on Ambriel and….the other cheer seniors saying their goodbyes across the street. Dean noticed Lisa wasn’t among them which didn’t surprise him, he blew out smoke watching Ambriel depart from the group. Lying sack of shi-

“Dean?” Castiel waved a hand over his face, trying to get his attention as Dean finally noticed Castiel was now standing next to him carrying bags of their food. “You okay?” 

“...Yeah.” Dean smiled leaning up pressing his lips to Castiel’s cheek. Castiel didn’t need to bother with this stupid drama. “Hmmm...To go?” 

“Part of the surprise.” Castiel smiled as Dean followed him in the opposite direction of Ambriel.  
__________________________________________________

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dean laughed loudly when he noticed exactly where Castiel had taken him, Castiel blushed soft scratching his face. The school. The school Castiel and Dean had first became boyfriends. Dean watched Castiel lift open the gate, as Dean slid under it. Castiel followed after, looking over the dark school. It had changed so much, but in a odd sense still so familiar. 

“What is this?” Dean smiled, as Castiel said nothing, leading him towards the dark classrooms. Dean laughed when Castiel went really red. Walking him down to the closest classroom to the playground. Dean blinked when Castiel made Dean stand at a certain angle and then Castiel stood in front of him.

“It was seven years ago, today that...you made me your boyfriend.” Castiel blushed, as Dean raised an eyebrow crossing his arms, but didn’t interrupt. “Granted. I was stupid and never noticed the beautiful man who always loved this stupid alpha more than anything…”

Dean smiled softly as Castiel blushed continuing. 

“….but...Seven years ago today, you stood in front of me and told me you were my boyfriend...I wish then I knew...how much those words were the best thing that happened to me….” Castiel stated. “Even if I never saw you a boyfriend...you...were always and forever my best friend...and now…” Castiel got on one knee as Dean paused going deep red. 

“I...ask that you continue being my best friend...but...just as my mate instead.” Castiel stated, as he pulled out a small ring from his pocket. Dean covered his mouth, as he stared down at it. 

Castiel...was asking him to be his mate….? 

Dean took in the mostly black band with two small silver bands in the middle and near the bottom of the ring, the words engraved were silver on the top part of the ring which read the words ‘You are my only love.’ 

“...I know we are only on one point five...and we are still in high school…” Castiel spoke looking him in his eyes before glancing down at the ring. “...so this is only a promise mating...I want to mate you after we graduate...I-If...you’ll have me…” Dean hadn’t reacted, the most that was happening was tears filling his eyes as Castiel’s face grew with more worry. “I-....It’s okay to say no…” Castiel cleared his throat shaking as Dean instantly started to nod as tears spilled down his eyes. 

“Y-Yes.” Dean laughed, Castiel brightened up.

“R-Really?!” Castiel cheered, as Dean continued to nod as he offered his hand to Castiel which Castiel slid on the ring before standing. Not expecting the hard and needy kiss from Dean, Dean pulled him close. Castiel kissed back without protest, as Dean needingly pressed against him. 

“I really want you.” Dean spoke between kisses. “Now.” 

“B-But-” Castiel choked out, as Dean yanked him towards the in school playground with heated kisses.  
______________________________________________________________

 

 

 

 

 

 

“I...seriously can’t believe we did this.” Castiel whispered as Dean laughed, both lying curled up inside the covered slid. They were halfway down the slide, Castiel’s football jacket covering their naked bodies. Dean nuzzling into his alpha. 

“Well, we both wore condoms. so...it’s clean?” Dean blushed as Castiel started to laugh. Castiel smiled down at Dean who looked up at him, Dean’s head on his chest...Dean wasn’t normally the little spoon but it was always a nice change of pace. Dean’s eyes slid over Castiel’s face, before he leaned up kissing Castiel softly. 

“I love you.” Dean spoke as Castiel kissed him back easily, Castiel cupped his face before softly leaning down pressing his forehead to Dean’s.

“Thank you...for always loving me...even when I was the hardest to love.” Castiel whispered as Dean held him tightly snuggling into his warm when Castiel pulled back. “Happy anniversary.” 

“Happy anniversary.” Dean whispered as closed his eyes listening to Castiel’s heartbeat, till Dean had dosed without realizing. Castiel’s movements waking him, when they started to slide down the slide with a shift. Dean and Castiel breaking into laughter, when the light of a security guard patrolling called out somewhere closer to the school. 

“Who's out there?!”

“S-Shit.” Cas laughed and panicked, as they quickly started to collect their clothes.

“R-Run!” Dean laughed, both bolting away before they were caught. Changing when they were free from the fear of being caught, pressing against each other in kisses as they attempted to change quickly. Unable to stop touching each other. Dean's favorite part...was holding hands the whole way home, for the first time uncovered.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, hope you liked this.
> 
> So make sure you guys bookmark the series for more and Comment!
> 
> Comments will definitely get me to try to pop these out faster.
> 
> Love you guys! XOXO


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